1.3- Unexpected



 

There was a lot on my mind. I'd left my family behind in Twinbrook nearly a year ago and after spending so many months alone, I'd finally met someone. His name was Jarrett and he made me feel amazing. We'd been talking on the phone for months and one day he'd surprised me by showing up at the community garden and kissing me.

Jarrett was amazing. He worked hard and so sometimes it was hard for him to get away to see me, but when he did come by he was loving and charming and I was so happy with him.

As the months flew past I could feel myself falling for Jarrett and hard.

Jarrett normally came to my place when he was able. And I was fine with that. But I was beginning to get a little restless. So I suggested that we go out one night instead.

 Well the gym really wasn't my idea of a nice night out. I did bring it up with Jarrett, that I had wanted a little more romance and a little less sneaking around, and he just brushed it off.

But how could I be mad at him? He was a very charming man and soon the water from the shared shower time washed away any other thoughts I had.

I was happy with Jarrett. But the day he came over wearing a baseball cap I asked him outright what the deal was. And that was the day he told me he was married.

Jarrett was married. And yet I couldn't let him go. His wife was out of town he told me. She was a nasty woman, he said. He was going to leave her anyway, he assured me. And somehow I believed him.

He stayed over that night and as happy as I had been with him I felt a little bit a tiny black seed had been planted in my heart.

The next morning, before I could chicken out, I told Jarrett it was better if we didn't see eachother again for a while. I needed to think about things for a bit, and it would be easier if he wasn't near me.

As the days without Jarrett moved by so slowly I began to feel weird. I had been thinking about what to do non-stop since Jarrett left and it was making me sick.

After a week or so of throwing up my breakfast everyday I began to wonder if it was just worrying over Jarrett that was making sick.

Then it dawned on me. And I felt so stupid. Of course I was pregnant. The timing was just perfect. I had had an affair with a married man, and right when I found out and was deciding to break it off with him, he got me pregnant. I just felt like the biggest idiot.

When I first felt the baby kick it's tiny feet inside me I knew that I would never tell Jarrett. I would leave that part of my life behind and move on. I'd raise this baby and leave behind all those stupid decisions.

It was nice when the morning sickness wore off and I could go back to cooking. It was strangely calming for me now. Knowing I'd made the decision not to go back to Jarrett and knowing that soon I'd be a mother.

In those long days I tried not to think about how lonely it had become again. Because I was about 8 months away from never being alone again. And as scary as that thought was, I was actually looking forward to it.

My mother was too far away to ask my questions about the pregnancy, so I had to do my own research.

The baby grew so quickly and the bigger it grew the happier I got. But I was still a little worried about raising this child alone.

Getting out and about during those last months was important for me. I had been neglecting my exploring lately and I wanted to be able to take my child out into the town, so off I went on my broom a couple of times a week.

The beach wasn't too far from my house and it became my favourite place to unwind. Jarrett's house was a long way away from there and so I knew I'd be safe from him there.